A letter to my tics

As the day progresses,

you emerge.

Sounds ominous, I know: I’m trying to see you as a pet. A creature I never asked for, but was given to.

And like a Christmas present from a distant Aunt,

I’ve sympathetically adopted you into my body. You live in me now.

the quick spasm of brain to mind to blood vessels to nerves, a jerk, a shock, an electrocution-

it’s almost like a dance.

Well, if you consider a dance like one of a Caucasian dad attempt of sorts but fast forwarded way too quickly, so fast but so adamant it’s hard to miss.

and I laugh in embarrassment, because I don’t want to love you.

I don’t want to glorify you,

Or keep you,

Or protect you.

But when you bark inside of me I cannot help but react.

So, I will let you stay in my home of a body until you pass away.

And you will come and go,

and maybe,

I will grow.

Editor’s note: It is normal to feel fatigue when dealing with a mental illness. Here is some guidance if you feel that you need help from others.