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Growth (by a girl alone at recess) – A Poem

You have grown to shun
Kindness and people who value you
Tell yourself
It does not nurture growth
But the truth is
You know you can’t keep it

You have always been more comfortable in chaos, haven’t you?
Chase
What is doomed
Get caught up in becoming brilliance itself
End up consumed by all-or-nothingness

You have been haunted by your past
Moulded by the harsh remarks
The shame and guilt you cannot shed
That is so unlike your weight

Maybe,

You have done something to deserve niceness:
The way you treat everyone equally
Or the times you gave your all

Maybe,

Growth is about finally accepting kindness
And believing some genuine wonderfulness in life is good for you
Even when you can’t keep it

Maybe growth is accepting you can never truly exercise perfectionism
To be fundamentally flawed and loved
Realising you are not a negative presence
Even after they see you right through—
And you deserve it.